Friday, January 15, 2010

Can't help but wonder why...

Here I am a day before going back to school. There has already been issues with my grandparents here lately. Granny has 2 blocked arteries and an aneurysm and was in the hospital last week. We have seen the start of Alzheimer's in my grandfather. And just now i get news that my grandfather has cancer and it's malignant. As if we weren't going through enough. God has seen my grandfather through cancer before, and I know he can do it again. It's just stressful going through all of this within a few days.

I want to scream....I want to cry....I'm angry....I'm tired... I'm shaking.... GOD WHY?!?!

My emotions are going crazy here right now, as I sit here and type and hold back tears. God give me the strength to deal with this and be strong for my mother's sake. She has been going through so much these past weeks since this is both of her parents i'm talking about. I have to be strong for her sake, she is going to need a shoulder to cry on. I don't know what else to say, All I ask is that you pray for m family in this tough time.



  1. Even Job, when stricken with illness and stripped of everything he had in this world, both family and worldly possessions STILL looked to God and said "I thank you Lord!"

    I've never dealt with the loss of a family member (as I am detached from a lot of my family), so I can't imagine what that must feel like, but I have known hurt. Thank God that your grandparents were able to live a long and fruitful life. Long, because they are indeed grandparents, and fruitful because you are there :D

    Only pray that they don't have to suffer any pain, and know that time is the healer of all things, even loneliness. As you make your way back to school, try to stress less about this. Know that everything is in God's hands and whether or not you like the outcome, it is going to be as HE says it is to be and the world will go on. You have to be strong and roll with it man.

    Hope this helped put things into perspective just a little. Call/email/text or do whatever. I'm here :D

  2. Following Jon on this one...God puts us all through tests, challenges and dilemmas of all sorts because he is giving us something that we all need in life...STRENGTH..FAITH..AND LOVE...You may thiknk he have chose the wrong people to use in this test but Mal (if ts okay to call you that) Thank God that he didn't choose your brother or your mother or father...You also have to understand that they have live their glorious life and that if it's hteir time..God is ready for his babies to come home..Once you grasp the reality that love will be there throughout the whole process and Jesus will never leave you alone.. I am truly blessed to have known you enough to be giving you such words... I know it may be a trickle effect about the bad news affecting your parents' parents but you have to be the one to hold them together..You have to continuse smiling when the rain comes down harder.. You have to reassure them that God is GOD and that he is ALMIGHTY..He can and wil make things better but you must not questions his role in this..Let go and Allow God to show you how much cares for you and your family...I love you dude and I really hate see such sadness come from you druing this time..But pray and contine praising God for allowing them to stay this long on earth..Be blessed and stay encouraged my brother...Laterz..

  3. Am praying for strength & healing for you & your family.
    A difficult time.
    I wish you well.